


How to Hyuuga 101

by Mizudoriko



Category: Naruto
Genre: Drabble Collection, Female turned Male, Hiashi likes pranks, Kumo is confused, SI/OC, The clan is exasperated, crackish
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-02-11 01:42:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12924621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mizudoriko/pseuds/Mizudoriko
Summary: She never thought that she'd end up getting reincarnated and in a fictional world no less. It's cool that she has a twin this time around. But hey, she's here now, right? Might as well mess things up while enjoying all that this new life has to offer. Even if she's super peeved that she's a boy this time, like really, couldn't the universe have matched her up to her correct gender at least? And why is her entire family blind, wait no, they're definitely not blind which means...oh god she's a Hyuuga. And who're they calling Hiashi? Wait. WHAT?!





	1. Step One: Actually get born into the Hyuuga Clan

She'd died.

It was as simple as that, no stress, no drama, just one moment she's alive and another she's dead.

She wasn't upset either, like really, dying in your sleep is one of the best ways to go. It's not as if she had anyone close to her, her foster home was anything but pleasant.

So yeah, she died.

Until she wasn't...which doesn't make sense at all.

* * *

The first thing she feels after dying is how cold everything is.

She doesn't like it, so she opens her mouth to protest. 

As if someone would actually hear.

But to her surprise, all that comes out is a loud wail and some sighs of relief that are most certainly not from her.

People start talking, but she doesn't understand what they are saying. 

And she's tired, it wouldn't hurt to sleep, right?

 


	2. Step Two: Learn Your Name, It's Surprisingly Important

The next few weeks are a blur, she falls into an endless cycle of eating, sleep, cry, get changed, and then cry some more.

Somewhere along the line, she realizes that she's a baby, but for the life of her, she can't figure out how.

Everything's good though, being a baby may be boring, but it's better than what she was before.

She learns her name after the third week, her eyes have already started to clear up and she's been sleeping a little less.

It's Hiashi

* * *

Wait, what?

Oh well, must be a coincidence.

It's not as if it's a very uncommon name.

 _It isn't common either_ a voice would whisper in the back of her mind.

But that's okay too. 

 


	3. Step Three: Figure Out That You Are, In Fact, A Hyuuga.

She was wrong. So, _SO,_ WRONG.

Hiashi may be a pretty common name, but Hiashi Hyuuga is definitely NOT.

She realizes that she hasn't noticed another baby with her, they call him Hizashi.

It's no longer a coincidence anymore.

And so, she does what she knows to do, she cries.

Loudly.

Her mother seems worried.

Can she even be called a girl anymore?

Technically she's a guy.

Better get used to it then.


	4. Step Four: Get Your Priorities Straight, Because If You Want To Survive, You're Going To Need Some Plans.

Finally, after six weeks, she has finished her mini freakout session.

Or large freakout session, but most of the time was spent sleeping because of denial.

Because if she's sleeping, she can't think.

And since the only thing she was able to think about was her supposed rebirth...

But apparently, the subconscious is a very persistent thing.

After the first two weeks in, the thoughts invaded her dreams.

Needless to say, her family was run ragged with the new heir's frequent nightmares.

It was only until she sees her mother, pale with dark circles under her light pupilless eyes that she shook herself out of her stupor.

It is true what they say "If you can't beat them, join them."

So she joined them.

_From this day forward, I am Hyuuga Hiashi. I am male and nearly three months old. And...I don't really know much else..._

* * *

So  _he_ made a plan or tried to since being a baby meant that he needed a lot of sleep.

Though it did become annoying when one keeps falling asleep in the middle of another contingency plan.

Being a baby  _sucks._

* * *

 

In the end, he manages to hash out the basic outlines:

_Being a Hyuuga is awesome, because oh my god is this twenty-twenty vision? Never had that before...oh whoops, off topic._

_Is that_ food _?_

_I want food!_

_Wait, I'm a baby, can't eat solid food..._

_AHHHHH, off topic!!_

_Anyway, being a Hyuuga is awesome, if you're not in the Branch House-oh no Hizashi is gonna get branded andIdon'tknowwhattodothisisbad_

* * *

A small pause in which newly dubbed Hyuuga Hiashi freaks out, again.

* * *

_Ok, so next goal-wait wasn't I making plans?_

_Nevermind,_ GOALS _!!_

  * _Save Hizashi!!_



_-Can not prevent branding, but can still help_

_-Prevent his death by not being a noob and not murdering the Kumo delegate (capturing him and throwing him to the T &I sounds so much more fun anyway...unless I can use it as a means to play a prank on Kumo....)_

  * _Not die_



_-Easier said than done, basically, train, have self-preservation, stay out of trouble, and_ never _join the ANBU. Clan pride be damned, they're going to be short an heir if I kick the bucket again...they'll have Hizashi...but I don't wanna die._

  * _Try and keep canon plot intact_



_-Meaning I do have to marry and have children.....may the gods grant me courage-nope not gonna think about this until I really have to..._

_-You know what, scratch all this, I'll just make it up as I go. Consequences will be consequences and I'm not living my new life just to tiptoe around being afraid of boundaries that aren't even there!_

* * *

So Hiashi is very pleased with himself, he'd come up with everything in only three weeks~

 

 


	5. Step Five: Do Realize That You Can't Speak The Language, Otherwise, Come Up With A Good Excuse

It was in his sixth month of his new existence that he realizes that he knows absolutely nothing about Hyuugas.

Or anything at all really, if one didn't count the future knowledge.

Well, he  _did_  know some things.

Like the Byakugan.

And the Juuken.

And,  _and_ that really, _really_ stuck up clan elder that hated Hinata.

Wait, that is his dad.

Whoops?

He also realizes exactly how massive his new family was.

Like there were  _hundreds_ of them.

And all of them had pupiless white eyes.

Or was it lavender? 

Was it blue?

But the Byakugan literally means white eyes...

Was that what it meant?

It was also in his sixth month of existence that he realized that he really doesn't know any Japanese at all and people are expecting him to start talking any moment now.

His only thought,

_Shit_

 


	6. Step Six: Realize That All Your Preconceptions Of the Hyuuga Will Be Destroyed (That and your world views will be shattered)

Hiashi realizes he has a brother.

He's just trying to ignore the fact because he really doesn't know what to do with an actual baby instead of pseudo-baby like himself.

He's six months and two weeks now and he still hasn't made a single peep yet.

His mother took him to the doctor yesterday.

She seemed worried.

The medical staff was baffled.

He believes that is because they can't find anything wrong with him.

He's probably right.

Or so he thinks.

He really needs to start learning Japanese.

It's actually coming along quite well.

Not that the rest of his family knows.

After the trip to the doctor's, they've been coming and leaving his room far more often than he would have liked.

Like right now.

There are two branch members in front of him making faces at him.

He's confused as to why.

Weren't Hyuuga supposed to look emotionless and refined?

Oh look, they're leaving.

Is that his dad outside?

Why is his dad pretending to hide?

Oh?

Oh~?

They're talking to his dad, they seem disappointed.

They also make gestures towards him.

Wait.

What...mind rebooting.....

They're trying to make him do something.

Laugh?

Or  _right_.

He hasn't made a sound since he was born...

Whoops?

_I hope they don't think I'm brain dead._

_Nah, they wouldn't._

_Would they?_

_AHHHHH WHAT TO DOOOOOO._

_uUUuuh._

_Quick, think of a word Hiashi and just say it!_

_Hiashi?_

_Narcissistic much?_

_Hizashi?_

_Eww, brother complexes are so last season._

_Something worthy of being my first word...something cool...something praiseworthy._

_Kunai?_

_Simple sounds equate to being easier to say, right?_

_Alright, prepare for the ride!_

**_"KUNAI!!"_ **

Ouch, that was loud, he didn't mean to do  _that._

Well, he did...just not like that.

The entire clan probably heard him, it was  _that_ loud.

His dad looks like someone slapped him and told him he'd killed their dog.

The two other branch members look at each other and look really disappointed. 

And...

Wait there were more Hyuugas outside?

Must. See.

Ahhh...why does it look like the entire clan has gathered outside his room?

What are they doing-is that MONEY?!!

They were betting?!

_DAAA the clan is being mean!!!!!_

"Tou!"  _Make them stop!_

They all freeze and some of them groan while others look victorious.

His father couldn't look prouder.

_Nooooo, dad, you are such a traitoooooor!_

More money is exchanged.

Hiashi is confused and is also just so done with his entire clan.

His poor mother appears from wherever she was before and looks extremely disappointed.

Hiashi is at his wit's end, so he tries to convince his mother to take him away from his shattered worldviews.

So he pulls his best puppy dog eyes, complete with the thin film of tears, and hold out his chubby arms to his mother,

"Ka, Okaa!"

And there is more silence.

His mother looks at him like he'd just hung the moon and stars for her.

She picks him up and carries him back into his room and puts him in the crib next to an oblivious Hizashi.

He falls asleep to the sound of the entire clan talking conspicuously outside his bedroom door,

_Bah, the Hyuuga are such gossips! But hey, being an avid anime fan does have its perks._


	7. Step Seven: Realize That Your Brother Is Actually Very Perceptive And That He Will Always Be Your Best Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Hizashi POV about what he thinks about his elder brother.  
> Warning: Minor Fluffiness

"Hizashi!!"

Said child is currently running away from his twin in panic.

"No, Hiashi! That is a Terrible Idea!"

One could practically hear the capitals.

"Arghhh...just stop running away from me~!!"

This happens to be somewhat of a normal occurrence at the Hyuuga compound at this point, so most of the clan members they pass by just try to ignore them. Keyword being  _try._

Hizashi turns to give his elder brother an incredulous look,

"Unlike you, I am not insane!"

"What do you mean? Of course you are insane! You  _are_ my twin afterall."

Hizashi stops running as if to contemplate his brother's words, that, and he's always had worse stamina than Hiashi. And as for Hiashi, he's always been insane in more ways than one.

Stamina being one of them, and no one knows how he has so much Kami damned stamina but at this point they just roll with it because otherwise they'd be left trying to question more important things than their worldviews. 

Like their sanity for example.

And the twins were only a little over three.

Needless to say, the clan doesn't know if they should be overjoyed at the appearance of  _two_ prodigies or bang their heads against some much-battered walls at the sheer ridiculousness of both children.

Actually, it's just the eldest, the younger one is still questionably sane.

"I hate you so, _so_ much." Hizashi replies without much heat, it's hard to hate someone you've literally shared everything and the womb with.

"Awww, love you to lil' bro." The eldest responds by throwing an arm around his slightly out of breath brother. Said brother who is also glaring at him in outrage and the injustice that  _he_ is not out of breath at all.

"So you admit that you are insane."

"You did too."

"..."

"..." Hiashi raises an eyebrow while his face is painted with an infuriating smirk.

"Shut up."

"Gladly."

Hizashi doesn't allow himself to hope, there's a catch, there's always a catch with his elder brother. He's survived far too long in the presence of the elder to expect anything less.

"Only if you help me with The Plan. In fact, I'll leave you alone for a week if you do."

Hizashi groans mentally because if he did allow himself to show any weakness at all, Hiashi would know that he's already won. And that means he can't get a better deal out of his elder brother.

He ignores the voice inside his head that says he'd probably even die for Hiashi if he asked if only just to be rid of the insanity that surrounds his twin.

"You realize that if we are caught, which we  _definitely are_ , we'll be separated,  _again_ might I add, by Otou-sama as punishment?"

"I was hoping you wouldn't notice that...I've rubbed off on you."

Hizashi rolls his eyes and pretends not to hear the soft mutter of,  _"You'll live longer if you're perceptive,"_  he's pretty sure that he wasn't supposed to have heard that. But it makes him feel warm inside to know that his Ni-sama cares about him, despite what the rest of the Branch family likes to whisper.

That and he is used to Hiashi whispering odd things to himself when he thinks no one is listening, like that odd language of his. There's no doubt that it is a language, the sounds too complex, too orderly to be a string of unintelligible nonsense.

_Ni-sama is so smart, too smart sometimes. People are noticing, even though he tries to hide under a facade of pranks to make them think that he's nothing but an attention seeking child._

He also ignores the gnawing fear that lingers in the back of his mind for his brother, those that stand out in the shinobi world tend to die young, and he doesn't want that to happen to his precious elder brother.

The brother that puts too much effort into smiling and pretending to be a normal child.

It's also one of the reasons why Hizashi joins along in the pranks, or Plans, as Hiashi calls them. It's one of the only times that Hiashi actually smiles, not like another one of his fake smiles.

And if it helps hide the fact that his elder brother is not a normal person? Well, Hizashi can always deny being involved.

"Two weeks."

"Two weeks? What, you want to get rid of me that badly?" Hiashi laughs, it's an actual laugh, not one reserved for the adults, "Well, don't get upset at me when you cave and remain attached to me like a limpet after eight days."

Hizashi puffs his cheeks out in indignation,

"I will not! And that was  _one_ time,  _one time!!"_

So it can be concluded that Hizashi loves his elder brother very much, despite the fact that his Ni-sama is the bane of his and everybody else's existence most of the time.

Though they really do need to talk about his strange quirks some time or other.

Just not in a compound full of people who can read lips and see through walls.

That means sneaking out into the village to play 'Hide and Seek' with their caretakers again because they're too young to be allowed anywhere in the compound unattended, much less outside of it.

Both of them being heirs to the Main and Branch houses to not alleviate matters.

_Oh joy, better get ready to face the music with Otou-sama...the things I do for you Ni-sama._

Secretly, Hizashi is not sure if his brother will tell him anything at all, despite what other people think, Hiashi's actually the more paranoid out of the two of them.

He wonders if Hiashi would teach him that strange language with the odd sharp sounding words if he asked.

Hizashi hopes he would, it would be cool to have a secret language between the two of them. 


End file.
